In many fields, mostly in the “luxury business”, simplicity is undervalued.
Executives tend to think that the more mannered, weird and unusual terminology they use, the more understated their brand will be perceived.
People however forget that writing for the web is very different from all the other writing. It’s web, it’s e-commerce, so you’d better keep in mind that:
1) Function is everything, and most of the times writers do not stop and strategically think “what is the function of this page?” before start typing.
2) Do not forget readability. If you are writing content on a page you probably would want users to read it, and understand it. UX Guru Jakob Nielsen suggests:
use text aimed at a 6th grade reading level on the homepage, important category pages, and landing pages. On other pages, use text geared to an 8th grade reading level.
3) SEO, this dear old friend. You spend a lot of time to produce high level original bizarre emotional descriptions. With plenty of words and expressions that don’t even exist on the search engines. If you want to drive traffic to your product pages, and I guess it is your main target (or at least you should be aware of it!), I suggest you carefully try to figure out who your user is, which words he/she would use, and insert them consistently in your text. Otherwise visitor won’t just land to your product pages.
In the web, elegance and functionality blend in one unique dimension, usability.