Have you ever met a bad person?
By “bad” I mean someone who is unexpectedly and unreasonably mean to you and you just can’t understand why. Those aggressive people who try so hard to make your life difficult.
Recently I’ve had the opportunity of spending some time with some very important people to me. They were talking about those people who constantly try to sabotage you and your work, people who are never happy with anything you do whose only aim in life is to show to other people (the powerful ones) how good and amazing and skilled they are.
Pointless to say, these people hardly have any talent.
There is a very simple reason for this: if I am talented, I don’t need to jump and scream and punch other people to show myself off.
My value will speak for itself.
Anyway, I was chatting with these old friends of mine and kept telling them, as well as I repeat it to myself, treasure your enemies.
I wouldn’t have achieved what I have now if it wasn’t for my enemies and the negative role models I met in the past. Ok now, I’m not a multimillionaire (yet, LOL), but I am pretty lucky: I have a good job that I love, the people I work with are good people, my bosses are good people, I have a happy family.
Achieving all this wasn’t easy, though. I had to prove my value several times, I had to destroy all I had and re-build it, I have to study a lot to be always up-to-date (but this is good because I actually enjoy studying) and last, but not least, I have to work hard.
Now, clearly I met some negative role models in my past (and I’m pretty sure it’s not over: life is always testing you and pushing you beyond your limits), but I was lucky enough to understand them, see the reason laying behind their absolutely mean behaviour, perceive them in all their weakness, fragility and poor spirit.
My “enemies” are always in my heart. They are printed in my mind with indelible ink. They help me keeping always in mind 2 things:
1) The person I don’t want to be
2) The people I don’t want around me
Negative role models have such a stronger power for your psychology than the positive ones.
Sure, a good boss or a talented colleague will always be in your heart somehow, but a very mean person will never ever leave your mind, especially if you managed to remove his/her power.
And when you do it once, you can do it 100 times: life gets so much easier 🙂
*also, I have to confess this: the incredible behaviours I ran into are strongly culturally bounded. Some unapologetic kiss-feet dynamics I saw are extremely common in Italian companies and would be quite embarrassing in international structures. Also, from my point of view the return-on-investment of such behaviour is very low (taking for granted that it is something I abhor!)